Dude, You Lost Me
by MadiYasha
Summary: Robbie's POV in the timeline where he and Wendy didn't go out.


The teen nervously fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie. He'd known since the fair had been hastily announced by the old bat running the Shack that this was going to be the day. Robbie had gathered most of his courage in order to prepare for this day, but wasn't at all totally sure what he was going to say or how exactly he was going to pull it off whilst retaining the demeanour he was so used to giving off.

When Robbie V was in middle school, he spent a long time alone, the grey faces of Gravity Falls never once casting him a glance as they passed in the hall. He had forgotten, for a long time, what it was like to be surrounded by people who had acknowledged his existence-let alone friends. He had resolved eventually to speak to no one, and built a tough exterior that was hard to crack. He took up music to drown out the world and forget he was so lonely and wasting his teenage years as a closed-off cynic and pessimist. Robbie longed for a real reason to be angry and just a little bit depressed at the world-like that he had been abused as a child, or came from a broken family-but his problems were a lot less tragic, and in the end it just boiled down to him being far too alone for far too long.

She changed that, though.

At first he didn't know how to react to an alien voice asking him to play his guitar for her. Robbie's world nearly came crashing down at even the thought of another human being besides his grandparents interacting with him. But he had a reputation to uphold and just told himself _be cool, be suave, be mysterious, that's who people think you are when they actually think you're somebody._ So he looked at her behind shaggy black bangs and nodded with what he thought was a confident smoulder (but what was really a shy shuffling) and jumped just a little from his cold seat on the floor when she scooted down next to him.

She watched his fingers nervously dance on the strings and giggled just a little when he'd mess up but he didn't seem to mind even though he was blushing harder than he ever had before. She was an average girl, nestled up in a red flannel shirt with frizzy crimson hair messily pulled into a ponytail, but her freckled smile was extremely comforting. Sitting there against the wall, her shorts brandishing her scraped-up knees like a badge of honour, swaying back and forth as he played. Robbie was sure, in retrospect, that it wasn't just in contrast to the painfully dull life he'd had before she showed up.

"You're pretty rad at that," She had beamed, leaning against the brick with him. "I'm Wendy."  
"I... Robbie," He said, just short of a whisper. "My name is Robbie."

And that was it. Even though he had forgotten how to make and keep a friend, Wendy persistently found him every day, pulling him away with all her friends and taking him on the first adventures he'd had since he was a young child. Every once in awhile she'd introduce him to someone new, and those friends would miraculously speak to him as well. It was like she was magical, teaching him to smile and rely on people and keep friends. He didn't understand how after years of loneliness, all it took was a simple hello to bring him back to where he needed to be.

I mean, it was no surprise that somewhere along the way, he had kind of fallen for her.

Robbie neglected to use the word "love" as there was no way to understand if that was really what he was feeling. But he knew that seeing Wendy was the best part of his day, and he knew that he didn't have much reason to pull himself together every day before she came along. Things seemed brighter when Wendy was in the room, and he had learned over the years he'd have to distract himself from the tiny pinhole that'd burn into his chest when she was away for a long time. He'd recall in the 8th grade when she'd be sick and he'd hide in his hoodie, playing low melodies at lunch and hoping she'd be back the next day, or those days her dad would take her camping and she'd be stuck deep in the woods without service for what felt like forever. He felt less horrible when she was around, did that count as love? He didn't know at all, and he didn't have the time to contemplate stupid sentimental concepts foreign to his short teenage attention span. Robbie just knew what he wanted in this present moment, and that was to be Wendy's boyfriend.

So he took a deep breath when he woke up that morning, straightened his hair, danced a jig into his tightest pair of jeans, and left his house confident (after practicing in the mirror for a good 3 hours) that this would be the day, after years of that question burning in the back of his mind.

When he finally found her, she was excitedly hugging a plushie over by one of the typical rigged games. He held back a dumb grin, calling her name and running over. When the girl turned to him, she was radiant from happiness as she held the stuffed toy up like a trophy.

"Hey Robbie!" She beamed.

"Hey, uh, Wendy..." He swallowed, eyes darting in all directions. "So, there's like, something I wann-"

"Look what Dipper got me!"

He froze, a tad stricken with anxiety at the way she said his name. The younger boy wore his typically feeble smile, but seemed far more sure of himself than Robbie had ever seen (not that he usually took the time to grind his heel into that little brat, anyways) as he waved frantically from behind Wendy.

The glint in Dipper's hazel eyes was all it took, though. Robbie's emotions completely shut down, he lost all his tongue, and all he knew in that moment was that the sensation currently taking over him was about halfway through _I'm probably going to throw up from nerves_ and _I would like to go far away from this place __**right now**__._

"Whatever," He darkened his tone. "Can't even tell what species it is... s'stupid."

He yanked the strings on his hoodie, desperate for any makeshift armour reminiscent of the shell he had taken so long to put up (the one Wendy unfortunately shattered) and walked away with dark fabric covering his eyes, blocking out his literal and figurative sun.

He heard her mutter something like _"What's his problem? Guess I came to the fair with the right guy!"_ And he wasn't sure if it was just his typical negative mindset taking over, or if she had actually just confirmed all his fears behind his back.

"Yo dude, you look _grim. _Ha, well, grimmer than usual, at least..."

"Piss off, Lee."

"Woah man, touchy. What's the deal?"

Robbie sighed, nearly wearing his hoodie like a blanket as the sunset painted him a sour shade of orange. Lights flickered on around him as it's dull glow slowly faded into the contour of pine and mountain, and he rolled over on his side, uncharacteristically boyish as he looked at the blonde beside him. He thought about Wendy, about _what if she really did give the little kid a chance?_ He thought, in that instance, about all the stupid boyfriend things he wanted to do with her. He wanted to grab her hand and just _run,_ ride every ride at the Pines' dumb cheap fair. He wanted to fall asleep holding hands with her in the back of his van after road tripping to nowhere in particular, he wanted to sit under the stars and learn every last thing about Wendy Corduroy. More than a lot of things, he wanted to kiss her, at least once.

He thought about Dipper doing all those things, curled up, and held back with fervor what he assumed would've been unattractive, wet sobs.

"Do you ever wish you could go back and erase one mistake?"


End file.
